"Top 10 Computing Jokes" (with sincere apologies)
As the 10th CAS Conference starts today the final "top ten"! No introduction needed.
Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It can’t be done. It’s a hardware problem.
When cybernetics pioneer Norbert Weiner moved house his wife worried about how absent minded he was, so gave him a note with directions home. By the end of the day he’d forgotten where he put the note. Ever resourceful he went to his old neighbourhood where he asked a girl in the street “Little girl could you tell me where the Weiner family who lived there moved to?” The girl replied “Yes Daddy: Mummy said you’d be here and sent me to wait to take you home”.
Yes, it's a hip hip array
Two bits walked into an expensive bar, but were thrown out because they didn’t have enough for a byte.
A man and a woman enter a house watched by a biologist, a computer scientist and a mathematician.
A little later three people come out.
The biologist, exclaims “They must have reproduced!” The Computer Scientist says “Ahh! there was an initialisation error”. The mathematician remarks “If another person goes into the house, then the house will be empty.”
Q. What says : “Pieces of nine, Pieces of nine”?
A: A Parroty Error
A programmer, a software engineer and a theoretical computer scientist were driving to Swansea. Crossing in to Wales they saw a black sheep alone in a field.
The programmer said "Hmm! Welsh sheep are black".
The software engineer said “No, some Welsh sheep are black. We need to test more”.
The theoretical computer scientist sighed and said “There exists in Wales at least one field in which there is at least one sheep which has at least one black side”.
Q. Why do computer scientists get confused between Halloween and Christmas?
A. Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary and those who don’t and those who count from 0.
Yes, there's more .... if you can stand it! (I lied about then thing!)
Q. What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant?
A. Lots of memory
Q. Why did the robot cross the road?
A. Because the chicken programmed it to.
Q. Which came first the chicken or the robot?
A. The chicken. Otherwise, who else would program the robot to cross the road?
Q. What does the R in Recursion stand for?
Q. Why did the first program die?
A. It was executed.
Q. Why did the second program die?
A. It had a bug.
Now, that's quite enough!!